"The arms that you wield now are not such as your forefathers wielded; but they are infinitely more effective, and infinitely more irresistable" ~ Cymru Fydd leaflet, 1890

Monday, 12 May 2014

Reasons to be ABE (World Cup 2014 edition).

With the World Cup approaching I thought I'd make a list of reasons why we should be ABE. In case you aren't aware ABE stands for Anyone But England. I will be updating this page as and when I feel things should be included.

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I don't want to see England adverts appearing on my twitter thank you.

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Definitely wont be buying any mars bars then, and since Tesco has decided to plaster its Welsh shops with another countries football team then I wont be spending any money with them.

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And then there is Wilhelm and Harry the Nazi. This picture was taken at the 2010 World Cup. Wilhelm is not only the vice patron of the WRU but also the president of The FA so he's kind of obliged to go to these games. And of course his 'brother' will turn up for anything if there's a free drink. It's fair to say though that the sooner England are knocked out the less likely we are to have to pay for these free loaders to have a jolly to Brazil.

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And here we have another cost we all have to pay for. The TV rights for the World Cup will be shared equally between the TV tax funded BBC and the free to air advert funded ITV. The BBC are taking twice the number of staff on their TV tax funded jolly to Brazil as ITV are. The total cost to TV tax payers will be £12 million.

From experience of previous football tournaments and even the Six Nations, you just know that no matter who is playing they will find some way of talking about England throughout the match.

(Note - I've since learnt that Alan Hansen doesn't work for the EBC any longer, I presume he couldn't stomach using words such as 'we', 'us' and 'our' any longer.)

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Unlike most countries England doesn't actually have a national anthem so it has to use the national anthem of the UK. The UK national anthem is the worst national anthem in the world. Even the anthem to North Korea tells us about their country and their people. So in order to save our mute button's wear and tear the best thing that could happen is for England to play their three games and then go home.

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And then there's this gem. We'll overlook the constant reference to 'Englandandwales' this time and just concentrate on the fact that the English Government (let's call a spade a spade) has looked at extending the opening hours of the pubs (in Englandandwales) in order for everyone (in Englandandwales) to watch England play football in the pub. They have used a bookmakers odds to work out that they only have an 11% chance of winning their quarter final (should they qualify out of their group and beat the last 16 team).

So unless you really do like rooting for the underdog then you might as well back one of the other 31 teams. But if you do want to root for the underdog then why not pick from one of the nations that are just happy to have qualified.

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Another effort from Tesco, do they really think that 'I love ENGLAND' are a must have item in Wales?

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Thankfully now that the Euro elections are over I'm not seeing so much casual Islamophobia posts, now it's back to the duck face selfies with the odd smattering of adverts for another countries football team. Facebook needs an dislike button now more than ever.

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Another supermarket in Wales advertising ENGLAND's NO.1 RAZOR. Well if that is true then why don't you advertise in England and not in Wales. We don't care what their number one razor is and quite frankly I also question your methodology. My theory is that Gillette offered The FA a suitcase full of cash in exchange for The FA announcing that Gillette is their official grooming partner or whatever and then they've then used a rather obvious play on words. This advert makes me even less likely to use Gillette. I'll stick to the cheapo ones from one of our German supermarkets with the ridiculously made up Italian name.

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It's bad enough when the large supermarkets do it, but at least with them you can put it down to the fact they have the stock and displays allocated. But when a so called Welsh chain does this you have to question whether they just want a really quiet summer or not. If I needed a card and saw this window display I would go elsewhere.

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When I was sent a piture of the Wales on Sunday's wall chart I must admit that I wasn't surprised as this is what you'd expect from them. So I used the picture to make this graphic, but then I was sent another picture of another wall chart. This time it was from the Sunday Mirror, both owned by The Mirror Group. The key difference is that one is the Sunday edition of a 'Welsh' tabloid and the other a Welsh version of an English tabloid. Yet for some reason the 'Welsh' one features only English players but the English one has picked an all-star line up from the 32 nations taking part. They chose the best of the 700 plus players and of course chucked an English player in for good measure too. The contrast between the two is quite amazing.

As it turns out, all the sycophants at Wales on Sunday have done is downloaded a Mirror wall chart from here and stuck their badge on it. So to match their complete lack of dignity they also have a complete lack of talent and originality.

To be continued...

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